Topaz (rewatch)

Wanna know how bad this movie is?  They had to get Leonard Maltin, one of the lamest critics ever, to defend it on the DVD.  There are a few good scenes, a couple of suspenseful moments worthy of being called “Hitchcockian”, and the thing with the dress was lovely.  But my lord, the rest of it is talky and dull.  Most of it is an interminable borefest (I must have seen the edited version before, I don’t recall it being so incredibly long).  The lack of “stars” that Maltin describes as a hurdle is actually the film’s most interesting asset.  Unfortunately Hitchcock just didn’t make it work, and the characters are almost entirely without personality.  The narrative focus is all over the fucking place, robbing the viewer of any chance to get interested in any of the characters.  Also, the music absolutely sucks.  His heart clearly wasn’t in this one at all.  I would watch Torn Curtain again.  I would even, on a lark, watch Marnie again.  There’s no way I’m ever sitting through Topaz again.  Rating: 3

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Torn Curtain (rewatch)

I don’t know why this had become such a piece of shit in my memory… it’s actually pretty good (except for, again, the over-reliance on shabby rear projection and obvious sets).  Besides the brutally long murder scene, it doesn’t really add anything new to the Hitchcock legacy, but it’s entertaining throughout, and tense enough to keep you glued to your seat.  The only major problem is the Julie Andrews (who isn’t quite right for her part) character: at first she adds an interesting element, but eventually she becomes little more than a piece of luggage.  Her presence neither helps nor hinders the operation, she’s just there.  Rating: 7

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Marnie (rewatch)

My opinion of this movie gets worse every time I see it.  Hitchcock’s aversion to shooting on location really mucks things up here; some of the sets look horrible, even worse is all the rear-projection horseriding.  The primitive gender roles (not to mention the rape) make me think Hitchcock is indulging his personal demons.  But most egregious is the ridiculous stew of lame, half-baked psychology, which will make you roll your eyes, if not double over with laughter.  There is, however, a very cool use of the Vertigo zoom effect near the end.  Rating: 4

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Psycho (rewatch)

I forgot how fucking good this movie is, perhaps because it’s so iconic and ingrained in our popular culture that I began to dismiss it.  The tension builds beautifully, the scares are potent (although admittedly a bit less so after several viewings) and Anthony Perkins gives a dynamite performance.  The obvious low point is the psychobabble at the end, which really is quite lamentable, but otherwise it’s practically flawless with so many brilliant touches.  Rating: 9

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North by Northwest (rewatch)

I wasn’t going to watch this since it’s not part of the box set, but I figured I’m going through so many other Hitchcocks and I haven’t seen it for a while, so why not?  There’s a lot of great scenes here, but it’s all a little too goofy for me.  I don’t think Hitchcock always succeeds at the balance of comedy and thriller that he’s shooting for here.  The rampant sexual innuendo and double entendre is kind of silly, and Eva Marie Saint doesn’t hold a candle to most of Hitchcock’s other blondes.  I’m inclined to criticize the suspension of disbelief required to get through some of the plot’s more ludicrous points (James Mason refusing to entertain the possibility that his henchmen MIGHT have nabbed the wrong man, for example), but I realize it’s all meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek.  Rating: 8

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Vertigo (rewatch)

While Rear Window is my personal favorite by Hitchcock, this is a strong number two, and I’m sure most people would count it among the top three at least.  I don’t know what I can say about Vertigo that hasn’t been said many times over, so I’ll just mention that I believe the score to be Herrmann’s most beautiful work.  Rating: 10

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The Man Who Knew Too Much (rewatch)

This is the 1956 remake… I’ve got the original version in my Netflix queue, and I’ve got a feeling it will be better.  This one is hampered by several factors.  Doris Day is a plastic figurine, a Kewpie doll that sings.  The little boy is a tiresome, cloying brat and I couldn’t have cared less whether he lived or died.  There’s some lousy rear projection.  And worst of all, scenes that should be tense instead are frustrating, leaving me yelling “Come ON!” at the screen (well, not really, but in my head) while Stewart and/or Day futz around and waste time.  It’s not the proverbial bomb ticking under the table, it’s someone holding the bomb and going “Now let’s just hold on and take this niiiiiice and slooooow”.  It’s not a total loss… there’s a few clever bits, Stewart is good, and as a whole it’s well constructed.  Definitely NOT one of Hitch’s finer moments, though.  Rating: 6

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The Trouble With Harry (rewatch)

The trouble with this movie is not that it’s a comedy… the trouble is it’s not very funny, and kinda boring.  Hitchcock can definitely do funny (see Mr. & Mrs. Smith, or the moments of comedy in almost any of his other films), but here it’s too dry, too self-aware, too tongue-in-cheek… too SOMETHING, anyway.  But it’s not terrible, and makes a nice debut for Shirley MacLaine.  Rating: 6

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Rear Window (rewatch)

I can’t imagine ever being sick of this movie, everything about it is perfection.  Rating: 10

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Rope (rewatch)

Cinematically, kind of a dud.  The long-take real-time gimmick adds almost nothing, and in some places isn’t even done that well.  Granger and Dall are not especially good actors, and Stewart doesn’t seem to have much to do.  But it is a wonderful script, tight and suspenseful.  Even though this is my 3rd or 4th time watching it, I still get edge-of-my-seat tense at times.  Rating: 8

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