Posted by martinteller on January 20, 2015
See, it’s autumn, like changing seasons, get it? Oh, never mind
Throughout my teens and my 20’s, music was my thing. My music collection — numbering in the thousands of CD’s, records and cassettes — was a vital part of my identity, and my knowledge and appreciation of both current and classic music was a point of pride. In the year 2000, I purchased a DVD player. And quickly movies took the place of music. Within a year, I was hitting pawn shops and flea markets every weekend, expanding my collection with both old favorites and new discoveries. As these discoveries started edging into more challenging, more obscure, more enlightening fare, I found I wanted to write down my experiences. At the beginning of 2003, I started doing that. I kept a blog on my personal Comcast page.
For several years my entries were exceptionally brief… a few off-the-cuff sentences and a 1-10 rating. But as my relationship with my first wife got worse and worse, I retreated deeper into the world of cinema. I joined online communities to discuss films, and my pithy comments began to develop into (IMHO) more intelligent observations. A few people started to care about what I wrote, and I moved my entire blog to WordPress, wanting to share my thoughts and opinions with a wider audience. Not that I thought I was particularly brilliant at it, but I had amassed some knowledge from digging into the more obscure corners of moviedom. And it made me feel a part of something. It gave me purpose in a time when the rest of my life felt pointless. I added screenshots to my reviews, I tried to give them more body, more insight.
But things change. In 2013 I ended my horrible relationship and got a divorce. And then I met Carrie. Carrie told me that one of things that attracted her was my love of movies. But as we grew closer and spent more time together, I had less time to obsess over movies… and less inclination to. I live a fuller, more rounded existence now. I’m not saying I don’t still love cinema. It’s just that I no longer feel this need to fill my life with it. I don’t want to keep turning over rocks hoping to find obscure gems. I’m sure they’re out there, but I’m tired of the search. I don’t want to be a slave to it, and I don’t want to keep feeling obligated to spend so much time writing about it.
I’m not making a grand departure here. For now at least, the blog will go on. I’ll write something about every movie I watch. But I’m just not watching nearly as much as I used to, and I’m not going to force myself to write 4-5 paragraphs about each one. I will no longer categorize the short reviews as “quickies”. Occasionally I’ll probably feel inspired to write in depth, but they’re going to be mostly quickies from now on. Like the early years of this blog. And this will undoubtedly make my blog less valuable and less interesting to some of you. I’m grateful for every subscriber I have (I still can’t believe anyone subscribes to this!) and every page view I get. Thank you. I hope you stick around, even though I have less content to share.
Carrie is a writer, too, and a better one than me. We write a blog together about our culinary exploits. It’s called We Cook Stuff. I invite you to check it out sometime.