Cat-Women of the Moon

Meet the crew of the first expedition to the moon.  Laird (Sonny Tufts), the optimistic captain.  Helen (Marie Windsor), the navigator… and also Laird’s sweetheart.  Kip (Victor Jory), the cynical co-pilot who carries a torch for Helen.  Doug (William Phillips), the young radio operator.  And Walt (Douglas Fowley), the engineer with lots of money-making schemes.  What they don’t know is that Helen is under the psychic influence of a mysterious moon people… an advanced civilization, but one where all the men have died out.  The cat-women of the moon have dastardly plans in mind for the men of Earth….

Like Swamp Women, this is a movie with an extremely low IMDb score (3.3) that I wanted to see solely for Marie Windsor.  In this case, however, even Windsor can’t save it.  I’m rarely one for “so bad it’s good” movies.  But sometimes — as with The Room — a film is so incredibly inept that all you can do is laugh.  And believe me, just about everything about this movie is laughable.  Even for 1954, the space flight science is ludicrous — for one thing, it seems like practically nothing has been planned in advance, not even the landing spot.  The production is terrible, from the terrible special effects to the terrible costumes to the terrible set design.  The dialogue is hilarious (“Oh, don’t be such a bore!” and “You’re too smart for me, baby, I like ’em stupid” were personal favorites).  The plot seems rushed and thrown together, with nonsensical asides to pad out its brief running time.

And it’s sexist as hell.  Okay, so there’s a woman on the crew, but the first thing she does is pull out her compact and adjust her hairdo.  And when confronted with giant spiders (keep an eye out for the strings) she crumples in hysterics while the brave men fight them off.  The cat-women (played by “The Hollywood Cover Girls”) are a clear warning sign of the danger of feminine wiles, and men must be vigilant to defend themselves against their temptations.  And of course, the buxotic ladies are clad in skin-tight bodysuits.

The performances are all over the place and frequently inappropriate.  It’s certainly the worst I’ve seen from Windsor.  The one thing about the film that isn’t lousy to some degree is Elmer Bernstein’s score… far better than this movie deserves. 

I generally don’t give good ratings to movies that are enjoyable for their awfulness (though some may argue that’s exactly what I did with Xanadu).  I will say I had some fun chuckling at it, but that doesn’t mean I can rightfully call it a good movie.  Still, fans of MST3K type fare should give it a look.  Rating: Crap (25)

IMDb