Star Trek: Insurrection

The only ST:TNG film I hadn’t seen before, and one I kept putting off and putting off until finally it was overdue at the library and we had to watch it.  No one seems to have any kind words to say about it, and no wonder: this movie stinks.  Never mind the lame jokes and terrible special effects (I mean, really terrible).  Never mind even the cloying subplot involving Data connecting with a child… or the joystick that Riker uses in a tight situation, a prop that was clearly obtained by sending a production assistant to Circuit City with ten dollars.  These would be forgivable if the story was decent, but it isn’t.  It’s confusing and full of holes and people saying utter nonsense and acting ridiculous.  Logic was entirely thrown out the window.  What’s left is a pile of clichés, a clumsy analogy for the treatment of Native Americans/slaves, and characters we just don’t give a damn about… including our beloved favorites from the series.  Even F. Murray Abraham can’t fix this mess.  It’s not exciting, it’s not intelligent, it’s not fun.

The one great thing is that just before we started watching it, Carrie tried to get me excited about this endeavor by saying “Maybe Picard will sing!”  And whaddayaknow… Picard sang!  Unfortunately, he sang Gilbert & Sullivan, and I friggin’ hate Gilbert & Sullivan.  Figures.  I would love to step through a subspace rift or something and return to a dimension where I hadn’t seen this movie.  Rating: Crap (22)

IMDb